July 16, 2006
They say war is boredom, and it seems they are right... All day today the Israelis have been bombing targets throughout Beirut, but in between their raids, there is really nothing to do, other than think about what a depressing situation this is. They're working on the evacuation of Swedish citizens, but quite frankly, I'm in no hurry to leave. I feel so much love for this place, somehow sneaking out while this is going on feels like a betrayal on my part. At the same time, I need to get back to Sweden in time to get my visa for the States. If I turn down an offer to evacuate, who knows when I'll be able to leave? I guess there is nothing to do but to wait and see.
It's Sunday, and even if it weren't for the siege, Beirut would be in a lull, but it would not be this bad. Almost all the stores are closed and the streets are pretty much empty. I went to a supermarket to stock up on some essentials, in case I get stuck on campus and can't access food from the outside. The only places that are really busy these days are the supermarkets; everyone wants to stock up in case things turn even worse. I'm terrible at shopping for war. I keep glancing at the wine bottles, then realizing that that's hardly emergency products! Well, it could be I suppose, but I'd rather keep my head clear with the situation as it is.
The Prime Minister was on TV, pledging to employ the Lebanese army to the south, practically begging the Israelis to stop the destruction of Lebanon. They won't relent, however. I'm scared for what might happen if Hizballah turns on the army, the government is so weak and the army could very well disintegrate along sectarian lines. If I leave Lebanon, when will I be able to return? Will civil war return over Hizballah's arms? How can I leave when the one person I love more than anything is still here in the middle of everything? She's a feisty one, and I know she can take care of herself, but I'd hate to leave her nonetheless! It breaks my heart that it has come to this. B'hebbak, ya Loubnan!
Beirut has always been a place of contrast for me. Life and death, side by side in perfect harmony as it seems. This is true now more than ever; the sounds of people playing tennis is accompanied by fighter jets dropping bombs in another part of the city. I can understand why my friends and family have difficulty understanding my reluctance to leave, but quite frankly I think it's be more risky for me to try and make it to Syria on my own, and as for the organized evacuation of Swedish citizens, I think there are others that have been more directly affected by the bombings and therefore should be evacuated before me. Personally, I think I'm being quite rational.
It's Sunday, and even if it weren't for the siege, Beirut would be in a lull, but it would not be this bad. Almost all the stores are closed and the streets are pretty much empty. I went to a supermarket to stock up on some essentials, in case I get stuck on campus and can't access food from the outside. The only places that are really busy these days are the supermarkets; everyone wants to stock up in case things turn even worse. I'm terrible at shopping for war. I keep glancing at the wine bottles, then realizing that that's hardly emergency products! Well, it could be I suppose, but I'd rather keep my head clear with the situation as it is.
The Prime Minister was on TV, pledging to employ the Lebanese army to the south, practically begging the Israelis to stop the destruction of Lebanon. They won't relent, however. I'm scared for what might happen if Hizballah turns on the army, the government is so weak and the army could very well disintegrate along sectarian lines. If I leave Lebanon, when will I be able to return? Will civil war return over Hizballah's arms? How can I leave when the one person I love more than anything is still here in the middle of everything? She's a feisty one, and I know she can take care of herself, but I'd hate to leave her nonetheless! It breaks my heart that it has come to this. B'hebbak, ya Loubnan!
Beirut has always been a place of contrast for me. Life and death, side by side in perfect harmony as it seems. This is true now more than ever; the sounds of people playing tennis is accompanied by fighter jets dropping bombs in another part of the city. I can understand why my friends and family have difficulty understanding my reluctance to leave, but quite frankly I think it's be more risky for me to try and make it to Syria on my own, and as for the organized evacuation of Swedish citizens, I think there are others that have been more directly affected by the bombings and therefore should be evacuated before me. Personally, I think I'm being quite rational.
posted by Hardig at 2:39 AM
6 Comments:
I totally understand your 'rationality'.
I wish I was there right now. I'm going to try and enter through Damascus next week.
Stay safe.
Hey evilconcarne, I don't know anything more about evacuation than what the Swedish media is saying. If you haven't given them your contact information yet, I suggest you check out this link: http://www.regeringen.se/sb/d/1475/a/67202;jsessionid=arf-tLup3Sp8.
I'm sure the consulate is quite overwhelmed for the time being, and since my situation isn't critical, I'm not trying to contact them by phone. They have my contact information and I'll go when I get a chance to go.
having lived thru the iraqi occupation in kuwait 15 years ago i know how you feel.
stick to your convictions but be flexible enough to leave if you feel your life is threatened.
we never felt seriously threatened so we stayed for the 7 month occupation and following war.
go with your gut and good luck.
Probably as long as you have the Internet you can stay sane ;-)
There are probably some great literature you should stock up on. Keep your journals as a contact point between your imaginary world, the world of the outside, the world of the literary greats....
Yeah, tough about the girl...Do you have a DVD player? I could send you a copy of Casablanca? then the two of you could share it's atmosphere together....
Finally, if you're at a loss for what to do say prayers and meditate.
I don't know how much experience you have with the combination of both of these done in alternation, (I won't add the fasting and getting up at dawn, yet ;-) But really, the experience is much more informative than the bottles of wine. There is a reason the Qur'an (BTW you do have a copy, don't you?) bans alcohol, it turns off the consciousness taps. You want to have them open as much and as long as possible! The desire to escape consciousness is ultimately false lead, a betrayal...blah , blah, blah, Yeah, I know you didn't think you went to Lebanon to learn about religion, in the same way I came to Japan, but one never knows until later why one did anything....
regards,
Hey,
Nice reading your blog and thank you for relaying a very good idea to those of us away from home what our parents would most probably going through.
I linked you to my blog in my last post, hope you don't mind :)
I am lebanese, living abroad.
I would give anything to be with the people I love, in the place I love, and dream about every night.
As you said, Lebanon is a land of "pleasant" contradictions. It grows on you, like a bad habit.
I understand you wanting to stay there. It is a historical time right now.
Just take care.
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